Ask Dad more – The Dadtastic Group

Question: What do you do with a diverse group of men who don’t necessarily have much in common apart from being a dad?

 Answer: Take them to a muddy field in East Lothian and get them to crawl through icy puddles.

Sound like your idea of hell? Mine too and judging by the drop in noise level and lack of customary banter as the mini bus approached the Scottish Assault Course Centre in the frost covered grounds of Winton Castle, Pencaitland, everyone was privately beginning to dread what was coming next…

The Fantastic Dadtastic

The diverse group of men in question are all involved to a greater or lesser extent in a community group for fathers in North Edinburgh, run by Circle Scotland’s The Haven Project. The group, brilliantly titled Dadtastic, is open to anyone who identifies as a father or father figure and meets most Thursday mornings 10am-12pm at the Pilton Youth and Children’s Project on West Pilton Brae. Meeting in a youth and children’s project is ideal for dads who have pre-school children to look after as they can enjoy playing in the soft play room or the gym hall.

Dads without childcare responsibilities are equally welcome and can kick back and enjoy a coffee and a bite to eat in between games of pool and the odd philosophical debate or bit of ill-informed football analysis.

The Dadtastic group is relaxed and informal and is the ideal place to find out about opportunities such as:

• Things to do with your children, like going to the Edinburgh Castle Christmas Light Show or going to see the Circus Starr performance
• Things to do with other dads, like the Gamechanger 7-a-side football tournament or the aforementioned assault course
• Joining other dads on the Changing Room Project mental wellbeing program at Easter Road Stadium
• Parenting courses, like Raising Children With Confidence or the Incredible Years
• Focus groups, like research studies into smoke free homes initiatives focusing on dads
• Ask Dad More workshops, every Wednesday morning at the Haven Project 10am to 12pm on a topic chosen by the participating dads.

Most importantly though is the chance to meet other dads who know and understand the challenges involved in being a father and provide the highest quality peer support to one another.

It’s all about building relationships

Graeme Richards of Circle Scotland’s Haven Project is the man who now runs Dadtastic. He is the latest in an illustrious line of Haven Family Outreach Workers for fathers, who have facilitated the group. Thanks to Graeme’s efforts, Dadtastic (previously known as Dads Chat and the Pilton Dads Community Group) is going from strength to strength. But instead of resting on his laurels, Graeme and I are working together to look at ways that we can attract new men in to the group, promote the role of fathers more widely, provide a variety of new and exciting opportunities for participants (hence the assault course) and respond to the needs and circumstances of individual dads.

I first became aware of the group about 12 years ago when it was run by Nick Smithers. When my own career moved from youth work into working with fathers for Fast Forward’s Ask Dad Project, the first thing I did in my new role was contact Pete Cloke who had taken over the running of the dads group from Nick some years previously. Pete emphasized that the success of the dads group was down to relationship-building which in turn created trust.

If Ask Dad was to have a meaningful impact on the lives of fathers and their families in North Edinburgh, then I would have to be around in the long term and build those relationships over time.

Fortunately, that is what Ask Dad More has been able to do thanks to the Funding and support of the National Lottery Community Fund who understand the importance of relationship building when supporting vulnerable communities.

The collaboration between Ask Dad More and Dadtastic has been the most mutually beneficial, successful and productive partnerships that I have had the pleasure of working on in my 15-years of Youth and Community Work. The Dadtastic group firmly belongs to the Haven and the dads who have contributed to its successes and development over the years but I hope that Ask Dad More’s involvement has enhanced the service and will continue to do so whilst funding allows.

…Back to the obstacle course:

For a couple of the dads, this was training for future Tough Mudders, for the rest of us, the warm –up was a big enough challenge. Star-jumps and burpees complete, the good people at SAC then told us that, not one but three water obstacles awaited and further informed us that we were lucky not to have been here yesterday when it was sub-zero. Today’s temperatures had risen to a balmy 4⁰C, and only some ice remained at the edges of the deepest muddy pools.

As the one responsible for us being here, I had to at least keep up the pretense that I thought it was still a good idea to continue. Of course, in the end, I needn’t have been so worried.

Despite any initial reticence about having to endure cold, wet and pain in the name of fun or team-building, I can honestly say that I had an absolute blast and I wasn’t the only one, we all did.

As soon as we splashed through our first wet ditch and hauled ourselves over our first, seemingly impossible obstacle (with help from our friends), the grin started to spread across all our faces, the banter returned (especially when Graeme broke two of the obstacles) and the laughter persisted while the water got deeper, the mud got slippier and the course got tougher.

Then, as our muscles started to tire and we became accustomed to the feel of cold ditch water flooding our shoes and mud in our hair and pockets, these (no longer unpleasant) sensations evoked some long forgotten boyhood memories of playing outside, unsupervised by adults, in all weathers and coming home exhausted and ravenous, caked head to toe in mud like we’d just been at a particularly rain-soaked Glastonbury Festival. I hadn’t expected to be transported back to my childhood by this experience, but I’m glad that I was. Also, I’m going to make sure my daughters get soaked and muddy as much as possible.

If you would like to know more about Ask Dad More and how the project could support you or your group, please contact Mark on 0131 554 4300 or email mark@fastforward.org.uk