Ask Dad’s response to Adolescence – Fact or Fiction?

 

“One of our aims was to ask, ‘What is happening to our young men these days, and what are the pressures they face from their peers, from the internet, and from social media?’ ” Stephen Graham told Netflix. “And the pressures that come from all of those things are as difficult for kids here as they are the world over.”

But what was our Ask Dad Group’s reaction to Netflix drama, Adolescence? 

Every so often a piece of television drama transcends the boundaries of entertainment and speaks to a national (or global) audience with such brutal honesty that it effects a cultural shift, galvanizes public support, fights injustice, changes laws or holds tech billionaires to account. Adolescence, the four part Netflix drama written by Jack Thorne and Stephen Graham and directed by Philip Barantini, will undoubtedly be one such drama. Just as with the rest of the nation, discussions at recent Ask Dad meetings have been dominated by the complex and troubling issues explored by the TV program. Here are some of the reflections, observations and discussions with their young people that Adolescence has generated for the Ask Dad community. 

One of the dads with a son the same age as the boy portrayed in the series has been profoundly moved by the series, especially the scenes at the police station between father and son. The themes explored in the drama touch on many of his greatest fears as a parent and he desperately wants his son to see it so they can talk about the issues raised by it. 

Parents who have watched it with their young people have asked them things like: Is it authentic? Is that what schools are really like? What sort of stuff do you look at on your phone? Have you seen any inCel or Andrew Tate stuff? 

Is it authentic? The answer from their young people varies: 

• For some it is a realistic portrayal of the sort of bullying and cruel banter that is commonplace at school. 

• For others it is not representative of their experience and they think what is shown is a bit of an exaggeration or caricature. 

• As someone who visits a lot of schools across a diverse range of communities, I would have to say that I do recognise much of what we see in Episode 2 as a realistic portrayal of what 50 minutes in a school might be like on a given day. They are dynamic, bustling environments which are often reactive to tragic events that go on outside of them. 

And what about Andrew Tate? Parents who have asked their teenage children about Tate have usually been reassured by the dismissive responses they have been given. 

WhatsApp message to group from one dad: 

• As a follow up to our Adolecence chat, I asked my son about what he thought of it. Interestingly, he said he had never heard of the term “inCel” and he said he didn’t understand the whole red pill/blue pill thing and thought it was made up for the program.  I asked him about misogyny amongst his mates/peers etc and he said that he doesn’t hear or see much because the boys and girls are pally. I asked about Andrew Tate. My son has seen some of his stuff. He described him as a “tool” and a “fanny”, so I don’t think he is a fan. I found it quite reassuring. Mebbe I’m being naive. 

However, young people have alluded to the younger children in primary school being taken in by Tate’s Alpha persona and maybe know of some of their peers who still haven’t “grown out of it.” 

Supervising technology, parents thoughts: 

• Some parents like Apps like Big Sister and Live 360 which might help with tracking and blocking access to certain content but the young people and the tech providers/social media companies always seem to come up with a way of bypassing security. 

• Young people have to learn the skills to critically analyse social media content from their parents rather than be surveilled by them. 

• Technology is becoming increasingly individualistic through the use of personal devices that delivers more and more of the things they might show interest in, no matter how unpleasant, violent, misogynistic or pornographic it is. 

• Watching television as a family allows young people to view content alongside others who they can see have a moral or value based reaction to it, even if it is something explicit, violent or graphic, they can learn from a role model’s reaction. They can view things through the filter of their parent’s moral judgment. There is no such filter while watching tailored content on a personal device. 

Although Adolescence has brought a huge number of concerning issues into public conversation, it is worth remembering that the storyline is not common. There are vulnerable points in young people’s development and vulnerable parts of the population that might be influenced in ways that can be surprising.

The show is trying to highlight that there’s this new internet manosphere issue that is appealing to some teenagers.

Only a very, very tiny number of teenagers will take that in a most harmful direction.

If you are concerned about your teenager’s behaviour or mental health, please speak to your GP or find out more:

Family Support – Relationships Scotland

Imagine a Man | YouthLink Scotland